fall.

I never used to like fall, for no other reason than it meant busy season (aka school) was in full swing, not letting up anytime soon. I was so focused on the sheer length of my to-do list, never taking time to sit. To sit and appreciate the very thing that had potential to calm me down. I find rejuvenation in beauty: something I’ve learned about myself during this little two month transition period between jobs. “It’s been good getting to know me more.” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIrYL9z0R1Y

Eight reasons fall is a beautiful thing:

  1. The pallet of colors in any given glance. No other season makes our eyes this happy.
  2. The crunching sounds the leaves make under our feet.
  3. Pumpkin everything.
  4. The days we’d rather spend outside because the weather is perfect. Legitimately perfect. (Also makes going for a jog a bit more enjoyable.)
  5. Scarves and over-sized sweaters.
  6. Fresh air never smelled this good.
  7. Bonfires.
  8. Drinking coffee outside doesn’t make you sweat.

I think what I like most about fall is its unmatched representation of change. Everything we see is green all summer. Grass, trees, bushes. Flowers bloom, but then die. And all that’s left is green. Then fall is upon us, and everything changes. But nothing really changes together; every part of nature sort of goes its own way. It’s like the trees all made the decision to be themselves. And grow into who they’ve always been. We look at most trees as being the same all year around. Until fall. And that’s when we claim them to be something beautiful.

Kind of like people. We ordinarily say people are beautiful when they stand out to us. But I’ve learned the only real way to stand out is to be ourselves. Yeah. Trees in the fall are a lot like people.

 

He has made everything beautiful in its time.

resolutions.

Today is a day of resolutions. Not the “I vow to lose seventy pounds this week” or “I will do laundry 365 days this year” kind of resolutions. The kind of resolutions in our heads. It’s about making an earnest decision to change things mentally, internally, within. And this blog thing is an attempt to think about/jot down/reflect upon that change.

This is where I’m at:

I’ve accepted a job. I’ve signed on an apartment in a city away from home. I’m growing up. I’m twenty-one, and I’m growing up.

It’s not that I don’t want to grow up, cut the strings, start this self-sustaining thing. Because I do, really. But I feel like I’m missing out on something. (It’s true, I’m a victim of FOMO.) I was completely okay with graduating a year early, until I wasn’t there anymore. I was perfectly fine with the idea of moving back home, until the idea became a reality.

We’ve all got plenty of “workable areas,” we’ll call them. Here are my top three:

  1. I always want to be somewhere I’m not. The best advice I’ve ever gotten is “Be present. Be content, and be present.” That’s also the hardest thing I’ve ever set my mind to.
  2. I fall victim to the problem many of my generation face: unhappiness due to reality not living up to our (ever-so-lofty) expectations. I don’t think I struggle with the entitlement issue as much as I just didn’t realize how difficult it is to get your hands on a rich, juicy opportunity.
  3. My biggest fear has always been, and I daresay, will always be failure. This can be a good thing. We often run from our fears, meaning I will do my best to avoid failure. But realizing I’m going to fail (often), and being okay with that? A mountain I’ve yet to scale.

So, this is my start. Is there a process for officially declaring days? I think I’ll call today Resolution Day. I’ve got big things to do, and a lot of life left to do them. And I’m going to enjoy every step of the way.